What if You Didn’t Have to Feel Any Different Than You Do Now?

From what I’ve seen, most of us just want to feel a little better than we do right now, and it’s funny to see the lengths we go to and the stuff we’ll try just to feel that little bit better.

You probably understand what I mean when I say “just want to feel a little better.” It means the way life feels right now can’t possibly be all there is. There must be something better than this.

What if you didn’t actually need to feel any differently than you do right now? What if you were able to feel great sometimes, and feel not at all great, or lousy some of the time, and know that you were completely all right regardless of how you might feel?

We’d rather feel better

We’d probably all rather feel great than feel lousy. That’s perfectly understandable. Where we get ourselves in trouble is in believing that feeling lousy is a threat to our well-being. It’s not. There is absolutely no danger in feeling lousy; it just feels bad, that’s all.

I’ve come to see that however I feel at any given moment isn’t really a problem, because just like everyone else in the world, my state of mind goes up and down. Sometimes it feels great, sometimes it feels lousy, but however it feels, it’s a temporary sensation. And as my state of mind changes, my view of the world changes along with it.

I remember once giving a talk at a business conference. There was a big audience, the message of the talk seemed important to me, and I was determined to leave the audience with something useful to them. The apparent obstacle to doing that was a long-term migraine I happened to be experiencing at the time. I was sure it would keep me from giving the talk I wanted to give.

How you feel has nothing to do with a good talk

As I was waiting to speak, I remember feeling exhausted and wondering how I could possibly give a good talk feeling the way I did. Then a new thought presented itself to me as a question. “What does how you feel have to do with giving a good talk?”

That question stopped me in my tracks. Or more accurately, it stopped the line of thinking that had me believing in order to give a good talk, I had to feel a different way than I did at that moment. It was clear to me there was no relationship between how I happened to be feeling, and what I wanted to accomplish.

The talk went so well that any lingering belief I had in a relationship between how I felt and how I performed vanished. I was curious about whether or not I had given any indication of the headache I was experiencing, so I watched a video of my talk (something I don’t usually feel any need to do).

I couldn’t see any sign of the crushing headache I was sure would ruin my talk. It simply wasn’t a factor in determining the sort of talk I gave.

Well, that only changed everything! I don’t always learn quickly, so even though I’d had the insight (revelation really) that let me see there was no relationship between how I felt and how I did, it took a few more similar experiences before that knowledge was fully integrated and became “part of me,” something I knew in my bones.

I don’t spend much time wishing I felt differently than I do anymore. It just doesn’t occur to me. This has been put to the test lately. I had knee surgery recently and felt like hell for more than a month afterward. It wasn’t a pleasant time, but there was no point during that time I wished I felt differently than I did. And God did that ever make my post-surgical experience easier!