Becoming and Being
I was watching our old black cat this morning. He loves for any time to be meal time, and he can get a little carried away with his love for food. Maybe it would be more accurate to say, he can get so involved looking and begging for food that he can’t see what’s already in his bowl.
That made me laugh. Then I remembered, that’s what we humans are doing all the time. We’re always trying to earn something we only need to claim, or become something we already are, or attain some quality we already have.
That’s what happened this morning. He was so busy asking for food and demonstrating how hungry he was, he wasn’t able to see he had a bowl of fresh food waiting for him.
We’re so concerned with becoming something we believe we’re not, we lose sight of what we are.
The best way I can think of saying it is this: we’re so concerned with becoming something we believe we’re not, we lose sight of what we are. Innocently, we choose becoming over being.
It can be sweet to anticipate reaching a goal. It’s fun to think about what it will be like. But given the choice, doesn’t it seem like it would be more rewarding to reach the goal than to just think about how rewarding it’s going to be when you do?
That question comes to mind when I hear someone say, something like, “I’m working on myself” or “I’m working to be my authentic self.”
Does it seem reasonable to believe that fully inhabiting who you really are should be something you have to work on?
Humans, all humans, are born with a gift few of us realize we’ve been given. All of us have been given the gift of consciousness, and by having received that, we have everything we ever need to be. There’s no need and no way to become anything else or anything more than we already are.
This is even more true for any of us who see ourselves as “spiritual.” And it raises these questions: do you want to remain a spiritual seeker forever? Or would you like to be a spiritual finder?”
I spent most of my life trying to become something I didn’t realize I already was. When you stop to take a look, that’s what most of us are trying to do.
We long to fill in what we think of as “holes” in us, important elements we think we’re missing. And once we find one of these “holes,” it can become the focal point of our quest for contentment and fulfillment.
Thinking back, I can remember how real the “holes” I imagined in myself seemed, and they seemed as real as anything. I suspect that was in large part because the dark things we imagine about ourselves seem especially heavy, and especially true. So the imaginary holes were always close to the center of my attention.
Know how lovely it can be when you find out some troubling thing you were sure was true turns out not to be true? Oh, and never was true? What rushes in to fill the gap left by all that untrue belief? Peace. And beautiful silence.
I understand now what teachers meant when they said, “Give up the search.” When my mind is quiet, as it is more often these days, I have the luxury of seeing that just like every human on the planet, I am, and have, everything I’ve ever needed. Nothing is missing. Everything is as it’s supposed to be.
