Perfectionism is a Form of Blindness
Life is full of wonderful surprises. You are full of wonderful surprises. Sometimes those surprises are beautifully obvious. At other times, they’re withheld from your view.
When a surprise is obvious, it might be because you’re willing to take life, and the surprise it’s offering up, on life’s own terms.
In other words, you haven’t inserted your own agenda; life’s agenda seems to make perfect sense.
When a surprise is hidden from view, it could very easily be because you’re convinced that at any given moment, you have a better idea of what’s best for you at than life does.
That’s a good, working definition of perfectionism; believing you have a better sense of what you need from life than life itself has.
Perfectionism leaves no room for wonderful surprises. The result is an inability for perfectionistic thinkers to surprise themselves, or to be surprised by life.
Does it seem reasonable to believe that human beings, with the finite intelligence available to us, can possibly have an edge over the infinite intelligence of the universe?
In my experience, at the time it happens, it’s often unclear why a certain unexpected opportunity will be a better fit than what I may have had in mind.
After the fact, sometimes long after the fact, I’m able to look back and think, “If I’d gotten what I thought I wanted in this situation, it wouldn’t have turned out the way it did, and the way it turned out was an order of magnitude better than the ‘perfect’ solution I had in mind.”
Life has a better idea
It was a rude awakening for me when I realized, late in life, that life had a little better idea of what was best for me than I had. Though the awakening may have been rude, the results have been and continue to be lovely. Aside from having a great deal less to do, I’m calm and settled more of the time. It’s clear to me now just how big a toll organizing and controlling a “perfect” life take in focus, and energy.
It’s ironic that when we become fixated on a particular outcome, we suffer from a temporary form of blindness.
In that state, the opportunities that offer themselves to us may as well not even be there, because we’ve unknowingly made ourselves blind to them.
Equally ironic is the disillusionment I often suffer when what had seemed like the perfect solution or situation beforehand, when I was dreaming it up seems all wrong after the fact. At that point, of course, it’s no longer possible for me to trace my steps back to where I missed what really would have been the perfect opportunity. I’ve simply missed the boat.
Becoming focused on a particular outcome, to the exclusion of all others (including ones that may turn out to be better) will, in the end, leave you disappointed.
After the sting of that disappointment has faded, it might be helpful to ask yourself this question: Whose version of perfection is likely to be better in any given situation? Mine, coming from my finite intelligence, or the version the universe is offering me, arising from infinite intelligence?
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