Perfectionism has two accomplices. Without them, it can’t appear. The two are judgment, and resistance.
When I judge something, several things happen. First, I’ve completely lost sight of the true nature of whatever I happen to be judging. That judgmental thought sets up a physical feeling of resistance. At that point, because I’m resisting that particular thing, or person, or circumstance, the thought occurs to me to change it, to “make it perfect.”
I realize now that when I start judging and resisting, I’m both working against life, and I’m resisting life’s ability to work through me.
When I don’t make a judgment, several different things happen. First, I have a better chance of seeing the true nature of whatever person, experience, or thing I’m looking at. When I can clearly see its true nature, it becomes apparent, that it doesn’t need improving or perfecting.
This is the truth that’s hidden from perfectionists, but the funny thing is, it hides in plain sight.
I’ve heard the universe described as “a smarter version of you.” I love that description because it restores a certain perspective to the situation.
Of course, the universe is smarter than I am. Of course, the universe’s version of perfection is infinitely better informed than mine could ever be.
Does it make any kind of sense to believe that my finite intelligence is going to come up with something better than the infinite intelligence of the universe?
The perfectionists’ constant cry is, “it’s not supposed to be like this! It’s supposed to be different.” That’s only true from our limited perspective. From the perspective of the universe, if something were really supposed to be different, it would already be different.
I find that both humbling and reassuring. I also find it completely neutralizes any impulse on my part to judge or resist, so the cycle of perfectionism isn’t constantly being reinforced.
The universe doesn’t need my perfectionism or anyone else’s. It’s doing very well on its own.
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