Last Saturday, my wife and I went to some dear friends’ home for a party to celebrate the engagement of their son and his fiancee. We knew it was going to be a lovely party, because their parties always are. Quite apart from the beautiful setting, overlooking mountains in Vermont, these are people who know how to make guests feel seen, heard, and welcome.
It was the kind of party where the reigning vibe is, very simply, one of love. But at this particular party, something happened, something I didn’t expect, and it was wonderful to behold. I’ve been to many such events celebrating some big family event, and the atmosphere has been similar. What was different about this one was one person’s willingness to come out and state, emphatically, and full-heartedly, his love for his son, his soon-to-be daughter-in-law, his family, and the community of people who were there to share the celebration.
I’ve seen this man speak at other such events. He’s always incredibly gracious, well-spoken and inclusive, but at this event, he went one step farther. His statements were unflinching. He showed no embarrassment at being so direct, which made his words all the more powerful.
Though I know him pretty well, I’d never seen this side of him. It made me wonder. All my friend was doing was showing the love that he, like everyone else, is made of.
Why do we see direct exclamations and expressions of it so seldom?
Part of the answer is easy. People regularly confuse expressions of love with weakness, rather than seeing them as the expressions of strength and confidence they are. There’s also the fear that we’ll be laughed at, or that the love we express will be misunderstood, or won’t be well received.
These fears are always misplaced. Judging from the way the guests at that party lapped up his comments, they couldn’t get enough of it, and neither could I. Your words may or may not be received in the spirit they were intended. That doesn’t matter. What does matter is having the courage to express what your heart is telling you it needs to say.
The opportunities to express the love we have for others are always available to us. If I’ve learned anything from life it’s this: Say it now, don’t hold it in. The nature of love is such that it wants to be expressed. It doesn’t want to be held in. Say it now, while the people you love are still with you.
They won’t always be.
When I was younger, there were times when I couldn’t seem to get those words out. I have no such inhibitions now. The regret I remember experiencing when I didn’t say what wanted to be said, what needed to be said, is a reminder to me. Say it now, while you can, and you’ll never be sorry.
Each of us is a river of love. The nature of a river demands that it flow. Each of us can let it flow, as is its nature, or we can hold it in, and hold it back.
Guess which one is the key to a happier life?
If you would like to know when The Slightly Older Person’s Guide to Graceful Aging comes out, please click here to put your name on the list. To read my other articles, click here.
