Online Friend
The video platform Zoom, which probably saved the world from a much-worse-than-it-was economic meltdown, has brought a strange and wonderful phenomenon to life. This may have happened to you. You “meet” someone via Zoom and get to know them through repeated contact. It doesn’t take long before you feel like you’ve spent enough meaningful time with them to know them well.
Many friendships have developed this way, and they’re every bit as real as friendships that come to life face-to-face. A number of times, there has been an opportunity to meet in person someone I’ve gotten to know very well on Zoom. The first time this happened, I had the most wonderful feeling of anticipation before my friend and I met. Explaining this to my wife, I said, “I’m going to see an old friend I’ve never met.” I remember how strange that phrase sounded to me.
Each time I’ve had this sort of face-to-face encounter, I’ve had the same experience: a feeling of complete familiarity mixed with a feeling of total novelty. Each time, I find the warm feelings I already have for this person I’ve only seen as an image on my screen deepening as we smile and look into each other’s eyes. The feeling is fleeting, quickly followed by the sensation I’ve been friends with this person forever.
Recently, I saw how this phenomenon has infiltrated my life, and it really surprised me. The feeling of “a friend I’ve never met” seems to have extended to everyone I encounter, regardless of how quick or casual that encounter is. If I think of the way I learned to navigate the world, it’s especially surprising. I spent the majority of my life believing I had to protect myself from other people. It didn’t make for a good-feeling life, to say the least.
What I finally saw late in life obliterated that need for protection. Everyone I encounter — and I mean everyone — is just me, in a different body, with different thinking. And I’m just them, in a different body, with different thinking. But we share the same being. In other words, there was never anything to protect myself from. Without question, this has been the most wonderful, freeing, helpful lesson I’ve ever learned.
Equally surprising has been the reaction of the people I encounter. More often than not, I’ve found that people gravitate to an opportunity to really be seen and to really see someone. Occasionally, this isn’t the case, but if the person I encounter is at all willing to make contact, I’m already there, waiting for them.
I find it both strange and wonderful that a “spiritual” lesson I learned on an electronic platform has worked its way into the rest of my life. It’s a reminder that if we’re really looking, recognition of the true self we all share with one another can be found in the most unexpected places.
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✨ And if you liked this post, you might also enjoy reading: If You Can Laugh at It, You Can Let It Go
