Curiosity and Happiness
I’ve come to a new appreciation of the value of curiosity, and I’m really just talking about being curious with all aspects of life. What I’ve seen is that when I’m curious, life has a newness and freshness to it that goes missing when I’m not in a curious state of mind.
By itself, curiosity doesn’t create happiness, but curiosity sets me up to be willing to see happiness where I may have been unable to see it.
I can make a blanket statement about that. It doesn’t matter what I’m being curious about. If I’m curious, things look fresh, and I’m able to see them with new eyes.
Fatigue and boredom can’t stand up to curiosity
Fatigue and boredom can’t stand up to curiosity. Curiosity is the thing that transforms what can seem like the humdrum of life into an adventure. Curiosity lets me pay close attention to what’s really going on, and as a result, whatever I’m engaged in seems interesting.
That phrase, “whatever I’m engaged in seems interesting” sums up the value of curiosity. It’s a value that’s regularly overlooked, and I overlooked it for most of my life. What a treasure to have seen that! It doesn’t matter that I’m discovering it late in life. It gives a newness to life that makes me feel like a kid just starting out. That’s something precious at any stage of life.
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I’ve also seen this: what I thought of as boredom, or fatigue actually has nothing to do with the activity I’m engaged in. The sense of boredom isn’t generated by the activity itself, but by the resistance, I have to that activity.
When curiosity enters the picture, any stale thinking is instantly vaporized. In other words, what felt heavy and dark in a bored state of mind instantly feels weightless in a curious state of mind.
The most amazing part to me is how quickly the transformation happens. I can go from being bored to feeling I’m part of a big adventure so quickly and completely, not a hint of residue remains of the bored, heavy feeling. It’s a miracle to me every time I notice it.
I’ve come to see curiosity as a precursor to happiness
I’ve come to see curiosity as a precursor to happiness, or at least to contentment. It’s the link I’ve been looking for my whole life.
Years ago, when my wife, Nina, and I were stuck in an airport waiting for a flight that had been delayed for hours, I remember feeling like I was waiting for all the flights I ever had to wait for.
But by deciding this delayed flight was exactly like all the other delayed flights I remembered, without knowing it, I was attempting to live a conglomeration of past unpleasant experiences along with, and at the same time as the delayed flight in the present moment.
I was overlaying a bunch of ancient experiences on my current experience. In doing that, how could I hope to have a fresh, new experience?
In that overwhelmed, defeated state, Nina made a suggestion: “Let’s make this into an adventure.” It seemed like a brilliant idea, and I was astonished at how all of a sudden, it was an adventure. Just the willingness to look in a different direction changed everything.
Curiosity lets me get away from the defeated, “Oh shit, not this again” reaction, which doesn’t lead to anything enjoyable, creative, or useful. Instead, my reaction when I’m curious is more likely to be something like, “I wonder what this will be like,” or “let’s see what happens if I try this.”
So the choice is this; would you like whatever you’re doing to feel like the repetition of a bad dream? Or would you like to feel a sense of wonderful anticipation? It’s an easy choice for me. I choose the wonderful anticipation curiosity invariably delivers.
