The assumptions we make on a routine basis are usually hidden from our conscious view, which is what makes them dangerous to us. We assume something to be true without knowing we’re doing it. If at some point we happen to become aware of the assumption underlying a particular belief, it’s easy to feel like a chump. In other words, it becomes clear to us we’ve been hoodwinked by our own thinking.
Here’s an example I’ve seen for years from more clients than I can count. These clients tend to be very successful. They’ve worked extremely hard all their lives, and they’ve piled up accomplishment after accomplishment. Here’s where the assumption comes into play: they assume all the accomplishments they’ve racked up will invariably lead to a sense of fulfillment when their work life stops. And it’s bewildering to them when the sense of fulfillment they were expecting doesn’t materialize.
A sense of accomplishment turns out to have very little connection with a sense of fulfillment. One doesn’t necessarily lead to the other, and when accomplishment doesn’t automatically produce fulfillment, it can be easy to think the degree of accomplishment just wasn’t high enough, as in “if I’d just done more, then I’d have a sense of fulfillment, instead of a sense that it was all for nothing.”
The result of this kind of thinking is despair, which is a horrible place to wind up after a life of hard work.
Whether you’re still working, or you’re done with your work life, this might be a good time to address the discrepancy between accomplishment and fulfillment. Even if your working life has come to an end, it’s not too late for a reassessment of what you’ve done, why you did it, and what it meant in the long run. The following questions may help make a bridge that allows your accomplishments to lead to a sense of fulfillment.
- What do I have that I need to express in the world? Am I expressing it?
- What gives me the greatest feelings of joy?
- Can I say I’m contributing to the greater good?
- Does what I accomplish increase my sense of connection to the world beyond me?
- Do I enjoy what I’m doing while I’m doing it?
- When I wake up in the morning, what’s the feeling I get when I think about going to work?
- Am I able to acknowledge my efforts and accomplishments?
(This last question is crucial, and is often ignored.)
What’s more important than your answers is how clear you are about them. If you’re not sure, some time spent reflecting might be helpful, with an emphasis on the question, “Why am I doing what I’m doing?
If your answers produce an unsatisfying feeling, you may have saved yourself grief later on because you always have the opportunity to change jobs, or simply change the way you approach your current job.
If your answers give you a good feeling, you’ll know what to keep doing, or do more of.
If you don’t experience a sense of fulfillment while you’re accomplishing things, there a good chance it will be withheld from you later in life. Time spent looking at this now can help bring a sense of fulfillment while you’re still working, and after your work life is finished.
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