How Anger Fuels Stupidity
I got royally pissed off yesterday. I don’t get mad very often, so when I do, it feels like a stranger has temporarily commandeered my body and mind.
Have you ever seen an intelligent person become very stupid all of a sudden? It can happen to any of us the second we become enraged. Anger renders intelligence useless almost instantly.
Very simply, you can’t be smart and angry at the same time. One of the real gifts of awareness is the ability to see a situation with some perspective and detachment. Anger robs you of that detachment, so it robs you of the ability to respond to a situation with any sort of objectivity.
Anger does this… When I’m angry, I become a cartoon version of myself
When I’m angry, I become a cartoon version of myself, doing and saying things I wouldn’t ordinarily do or say. Chances are, I’ll only see the result in myself after the fact, after I’ve calmed down. In other words, after the storm has passed.
Ever try to drive with one eye closed? (I’m not suggesting this, by the way!) It’s very difficult to do because you’ve essentially thrown away your ability to see three-dimensionally. And without depth perception, you won’t be able to control your driving very well. That detracts from the chance you’ll get where you’re going without hurting yourself or someone else.
Why do we throw away our ability to “see” when anger comes over us? Because we can’t see it coming until it’s too late.
But before humans get angry, there’s always a signal, if we know what to look for. The signal is resistance. Examples of resistance are thoughts like, “Why does it have to be like this?” “Why is this happening to me?” “I shouldn’t have to do this!”
Unrecognized resistance leads to resentment, which leads to anger. Resistance is the lit match, resentment is the fuse, and an explosion of anger is the result.
When I can see I’m resisting something, I have the ability to blow out the match before I light the fuse. In that sense, resistance is my early warning system.
Learning to spot resistance as it comes up is the key. Trying to control anger would seem like a perfectly logical solution, except that it doesn’t work. Once I start to get angry, it’s already too late; I’ve already lost any perspective I might have had.
Rather than trying to control anger, a more dependable way to spot the anger before it’s in full bloom is simply to notice when I’m resisting a task, or situation.
Resistance is always present when anger strikes. I’ll go even farther and say resistance is a necessary precursor to anger. If there’s no resistance, there’s no reason to be angry. Without resistance, there’s only a situation to be dealt with, not a looming disaster to be navigated.
Would you rather deal with a situation, or navigate a disaster? Seems like an easy choice, doesn’t it? When I can see that I’m resisting, there’s no need or even inclination to go thermonuclear.
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