Thriving in Uncertainty
We’ve all heard that people are often afraid of change, and while that’s true, it doesn’t get to the heart of that particular fear. While we may be afraid of change, it’s the uncertainty behind change that we find upsetting.
Humans love to believe they live in a world of certainty, and we also love to believe the future has a predictability to it we can count on. There’s a certain amount of truth in that, but it’s a narrow, limited truth. All the elements in our lives we like to think of as predictable, as knowable, are predictable right up to the instant they’re not.
A feeling of predictability suggests a sense of control, and who doesn’t want to feel they have control over their life? But a feeling of control isn’t the same as control.
The feeling of control we like so much is essentially an illusion. There’s an unstated but implied belief that if we can predict what’s happening around us, we can be prepared for what life throws in our direction; in other words, if we know what to expect, we’ll also know what to do in advance.
The need to know what’s going to happen, and to know how we’re going to respond ignores a simple, beautiful truth. When humans need to respond to circumstances we hadn’t anticipated, we’re able to respond. This ability is something every human is born with. It’s baked into our DNA. We evolved with it, and it’s why humans have survived for hundreds of thousands of years.
This isn’t a gift that’s available only to certain people. You have it whether you realize it or not. There’s a habit most of us have that can hamper our ability to respond in the moment to unpredictable events. The habit is a combination of over-thinking and over-planning.
If you remember times when you had to respond to an unforeseen event, you might notice your responses have something in common: they happened without your conscious help. The deliberative part of your brain, the part we’re so familiar with, was uninvolved.
Another way to say that is, you knew what to do without thinking about it, without
your knowing you knew. If you’d tried to “think your way through” the event, you wouldn’t have been able to respond in time.
What I’ve just described is the difference between using what we can call your “thinking mind,” and your “knowing mind.” Your mind isn’t confined to your brain. The brain is only the main organ of the mind. Bodymind, a term that came to be used in the last decades, is a more realistic description of the interplay between brain and body.
The most accessible example of the intelligence of the body is muscle memory. Anyone who uses their body has probably experienced what happens if they try to think about a dance step, a golf swing, or any intricate physical movement at the same time they’re trying to do it.
The swing, or step, or movement falls to pieces. Have you ever tried to walk while you’re thinking about which arm to swing with which leg? It’s an example of your own thinking getting in your way. It can’t be done.
Over-thinking and over-planning are misuses of the gift of consciousness, in the same way as when you use your thinking mind when what’s required is your knowing mind.
Your knowing mind is giving you information all the time, and the information it’s giving you is completely dependable, unlike the information that comes from your deliberative mind. The “voice” your knowing mind speaks with isn’t loud and brash, like the voice of your deliberative mind. If we’re not accustomed to listening to it, it can be easy to miss, especially considering how insistent the voices of our thinking minds can be.
If living in uncertainty seems frightening to you, it may be because you believe you have a more accurate picture of what you need from life than life has.
If you believe that, it might be a good time to consider how it could be that your intelligence is greater than the intelligence of the universe, the intelligence that’s always giving you what you need right this moment, even when it might seem otherwise.
If you would like to know when The Slightly Older Person’s Guide to Graceful Aging comes out, please click here to put your name on the list. To read my other articles, click here.
